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- They’re crazy. Seriously. I’ve had many people (mostly my students) ask me whether it’s true that going into psychology will eventually make you crazy yourself. I always tell them it’s absolutely not true. See, the truth is, it’s the other way around—you have to already be pretty twisted before you go into psychology.
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- It’s true what you’ve always suspected—they are secretly diagnosing you. They have this little checklist in their heads enumerating the signs and symptoms of the major psychological disorders—schizophrenia, mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and most especially, personality disorders.
You: “Did you hear that?”
Psych major: “Hear what?”
You: “Nothing. I just thought I heard something.”
Inside the psych major’s head:
Auditory hallucinations, check. Just one more evidence of either delusions, disorganized thinking, abnormal motor behavior, or negative symptoms and I am referring this person for probable schizophrenia.
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- At one point or another, you (or worse, your relationship) will be subjected to a social experiment without your knowledge or consent (after all, most social experiments are rendered invalid if the subject knows they’re being experimented on). They will tell you things for the sake of observing your reactions to them. They will stage an entire event to see whether your reaction confirms the results of a study they just read in The Journal of Social Psychology. They will do things to you just to see if that theory they just learned about truly applies in real life.
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- They know too much and don’t always use it constructively.
Scenario 1: Their knowledge of ego defense mechanisms and body language can trump what would’ve been a romantic moment.
You: “Honey, flowers for you!”
Psych major: “Why, what’s the occasion?”
You: “Nothing.”
Psych major: “Did you do something wrong to me and are now using undoing as a defense mechanism to try to lessen your guilt for your bad actions? What did you do this time, eh? Did you cheat on me?!?”
You: “No! I just thought—”
Psych major: “Enough! Lies, lies! I know you’re lying, you looked me a little too intensely straight in the eyes there! Ha, typical liar behavior to try to convince me you’re telling the truth by overcompensating on eye contact because you know that I know liars usually avoid eye contact!”
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Scenario 2: See this piece of research to understand the following scenario.
You: “Hey, let’s watch that new horror movie together!”
Psych major: “Are you intentionally trying to subject me to a heightened level of emotional arousal through that horror movie so that I could mistakenly attribute that arousal as something I feel for you and thereby have me think that I am actually attracted to you?”
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- You may never know whether you truly like or love them out of your own will, or they had just tricked you into falling in love with them through their psychology “witchery.” C’mon, they know things like partial reinforcement schedules and other creepy behaviorist-manipulation stuff, not to mention all the brain science stuff they read while having their morning coffee.
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Tsk tsk tsk. Beware the witchery of these people.
You have been warned. ♠
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›» ο «‹
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P.S. A moment of silence, please, for all the dates I am never going to have for posting this. haha
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• About the Author •
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I knew it! Lol, nice post.
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Haha! Thanks Tricia! 😀
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Reblogged this on Mcnierdy's Window and commented:
A must-read. I wonder why there isn’t one for Med students, though.
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Maybe you can make one for Med students! 😉
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Hehe, I’ll try
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Reblogged this on Yeditepe Üniversitesi Psikoloji Topluluğu.
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I love it!
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Hi, thanks! 🙂
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Guilty here. Hahaha. 3/5.
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Gotcha! Haha..Thanks for reading 🙂
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LOL. I’m a psych major and it applies, not everyone though. Some majors are actually sane, but its pretty okay.
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This is a clear sign of narcissistic personality disorder. But you may also have a chance of developing schizophrenia. You call yourself a writer, being a writer needs imagination and thus you may be more prone to hallucinations, which suggest schizophrenia. Sry bro, you know…
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This is exaggeration.
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It’s meant to be 😉
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Oh great. Just great, cheers to us Psych majors. Hahahaha ha ha ha -_-
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Reblogged this on nothing and commented:
Lol hahahha I have a friend who’s a psych major, and she isn’t like this lol
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Good to hear, one of ’em sane ones ^_^
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Not all psych majors does that. Not all behaviors require interpretations. Or those scenarios were premature for a pscyh major to make conclusions. You know! They go beyond that!
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I totally get what you mean. 🙂 Don’t worry, this post was just meant to be a humor piece that hinges on exaggeration, not an actual depiction of how all psych majors are. (Hmmm..Now that you’ve mentioned it though, I should probably place a note about that at the bottom of the post..hehe). Thanks! 🙂
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Reblogged this on NVRLND and commented:
Hahahaha. And so, how can I find someone to date, eh?
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Let’s post “Why You Should Date a Psych Major” next, haha! (I know there are already blog posts on that, but maybe we can come up with our own version too) 😀
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You are a psychologist yourself and the humorous way you looked at the other side of coin, it was just marvelous. Its actually the opposite of your footnote; just look out for all those psych majors for whom you ARE the best possible first date (if not last) they can get. You definitely owe all those psych majors “How to grab the attention of a psych major?”. 🙂
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Haha, what a cool idea! I’m betting that piece would be fun to write. I’ll start thinking about how to write it. Thank you for reading and sharing your insights, Amir! 🙂
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You are welcome MOTI (mistress of the ink). I won’t tell you what does MOTI mean in Urdu or Punjabi languages. A hint: it does not mean pearl. Best of luck with your search 🙂
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I was intrigued and looked up what “moti” means in those languages. Haha! I never knew that acronym translates to an actual word somewhere. It may have other meanings, though I like the “pearl” meaning better. 😉
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I like “checklist in their mind” hahaha this is actually what I am doing
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My cousin and I read this and when I said that I find them interesting, she said that I’m weird or maybe I’m ‘bewitched’ by them as what you’ve stated in the article. I find them cool. I really don’t know why. Help? Hahaha. Kidding. 🙂
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Some people see the magic, others don’t. 😉
Thanks for reading and dropping a line! 🙂
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HAHA great post. I get some of those being a teacher, people apologizing for their grammar or spelling or admit to enjoying reading when they don’t, etc. Funny the misconceptions people have or correct assumptions they make lol.
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Yup, and I think it’s great that we’re talking about these misconceptions and assumptions. It means we’re thinking about the way we think. 🙂
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I can attest that this is true having watched my son get both a psyche and a criminal justice degree! LOL (But he finally DID get married to someone he thought he could unpack all her extra baggage… He couldn’t.)
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Haha! Thank you for affirming.
Well, I guess psych majors are indeed prone to feeling like they could “unpack” things in others. Occupational hazard.
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Yep!
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Oh, …this was brilliant! Love the cartoon as well, perfect!
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Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for visiting my page and dropping a line. 🙂
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LOL, very cute and true!
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Haha, thanks for reading! ^_^
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I found that people get into psychology for two reasons. 1) To figure out why they are screwed up. 2) To figure out why their family is screwed up. Your writing is great. Thanks.
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Haha, that’s a good observation. Most of those in psychology are intensely curious about the why’s of life, especially the why’s of the struggles therein. Thanks for dropping by and for sharing your thoughts! 🙂
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Glad to do it.
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Ha, ha! Love your sense of humor!
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Thank you so much! Glad you got a chuckle or two from this! 🙂
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This was amazing, i kept laughing. i guess if i date a psych major i will be diagnosed with paranoia, lol.
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Hahaha! Well at least you’ve got the insight enough to see that diagnosis for yourself? I guess that’ll make your date proud. 😂
Thanks for reading, glad you got some amusement out of this post!
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Reblogged this on My Life on the Chicago # 36 Bus and commented:
Even tho this is funny as well as something that we all thought, it could still be true.I am reblogging this, hoping that “mistressofink, does not mind and does not evaluate my mind. Follow the link back to her link if you so wish. I wish that I had her skills at writing but at 70, that ship has sailed.
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I enjoyed this even tho it is something I always suspected. Humor and truth make good room mates. I hope that you don’t mind that I shared this with my friends. I don’t have many followers but several are deep thinkers and the others are mid-deep thinkers (my attempt at humor.) If you don’t want me to share it, let me know and I will remove it. I really enjoyed it.
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Glad you enjoyed this! I don’t mind; others have also reblogged this post before and that’s really no problem. Hope your friends (both the deep and mid-deep thinkers, hehe) enjoy this as well! 🙂
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P.S. About humor and truth making good roommates — I agree. As they say, the best jokes are true, and the best truths are jokes. 😀
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To me, it comes across that the “social science” of psych is trying to put everyone / everything in a box with a neat label on it. It can’t be contributing to the psych’s enjoyment of life (if they’re somewhat normal) to always have the suspicion radar activating thus interfering with being able to just accept someone at face value and enjoy interacting with them without feeling the need to diagnose all interaction – those who do all this diagnosing are actually demonstrating they are the ones with big problems
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Haha! I don’t think psych majors *actually* go about diagnosing interactions and people in this way, but if some of us do, then that’s just sad and as you said, could be problematic.
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On the serious side there is sad truth here also. If you look at the record of police officers you may often see heavy drinking, multiple divorces and even family problems because they get to see society at it’s worse everyday and that may sometimes color how all of life looks. They and their families sometimes suffer. It is like PTSD. I am sure that it is not as intense with psychs but it must take some of the magic out of human interactions.
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I see your point. Thank you for sharing that insight, Pat! I never really considered how jaded the outlook of police officers (and some psychs) can become because of what they continually get exposed to, but it is indeed possible.
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Hahaha! This is brilliant and really well written too😊
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Thank you so much! I had fun writing it. 😀
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