Soft Emotions

Today, I sat by the window leisurely folding clothes as dusk crept in. I spied the pinkish orange clouds gradually turn a light grey as nightfall claimed the fading sun. Sigrid’s Home to You played in the background.

 

“Couldn’t wait ‘til I got outside
Wondering, what the world be like
I knew I had to change my mind
Didn’t realize it would happen, oh so soon…”
~ Sigrid, Home to You

 

I believe that while not everyone is easily given to melancholy, with enough stillness and solitude, everyone is confronted by moments of reflective somber from time to time. And each person deals with it in their own way. Some are quick to dismiss it and go ahead to find the next distraction before the sadness gets to fully grasp them. Others stay with it a little longer, daring to ask Why? Where does it come from? What is it here for?

dusk view

Image by rahen z via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

“But I see the world so different now
But there’s a place by the sea
And that’s my town…”
~ Sigrid, Home to You

 

I once read that underneath all our hard emotions—anger, frustration, hatred—
are actually soft emotions—sadness, hurt, tenderness. Love.

 

“When I don’t know what to say
When I don’t know what to do
There’s a room I need to sit in
Surrounded by my favorite view…”
~ Sigrid, Home to You

 

But because soft emotions make us feel vulnerable, and feeling vulnerable is not something we’re taught to be comfortable with, we are prone to do whatever it takes to unfeel these soft emotions. Especially in times of uncertainty and conflict, fear drives us to want to appear tough, to want to be tough that nothing dares scathe us. We hastily put on our mantle of toughness, stowing away our sadness and pain under an armor of anger and indignation. To exhibit toughness is easier than to give in to vulnerability. It makes us feel safer.

It is in this way that we come to be angry people. It is in this way that we come to lose compassion. It is in this way that we come to be consumed by our own selfishness, that we start to lose sight of the bigger picture and instead act only to satisfy our most pregnant impulses. We give way only to our hard emotions without knowing and understanding the soft emotions that underlie them.

 

“When I need a hand to hold
Someone to tell the truth
Would it be okay
If I came home to you?”
~ Sigrid, Home to You

 

By the time I decided to get up from my seat, night had fallen. No clouds were in sight anymore.

But it does not mean that the clouds had faded away with the sun.

Some of us still lift our eyes to the sky and know that somewhere, shrouded in darkness, clouds still remain adrift, only awaiting the next sunrise when they will again be tinged a beautiful hue of yellow or pink, a sight to behold. ♦

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21 thoughts on “Soft Emotions

  1. An apropos examination in lieu of the world these days. Nicely written and evocative.

    It seems to take way more energy to be tough, angry, and indignant, exhausting really. To strut around puffed and pompous, egging for confrontation — phew, to relax and let all that flow way, so much more energy efficient.

    Grudges are heavy things. A grimace tiresome to hold; like resting bitch-face. “That’s just my face!” No it’s not. Dissolve your misgiving and mistrust—imagine the color blue, tiny white flowers, the smell of honeysuckle and clouds like whales swimming across the sky.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wise words from you, as always. Yes, holding onto grudges is exhausting. When we do it often and long enough, it becomes a pattern and we don’t even realize how burdened and tired we have been until we finally let it go, forgive others, and forgive ourselves.

      Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this. Greatly appreciated 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello, April! Yes I am, after a long hiatus. 🙂 It’s good to be back and reconnect with familiar faces here, as well as meet new ones. I initially didn’t recognize your new blog but when I hopped over to your About page, I instantly recognized turning20web! Thanks for dropping by, I’m excited to read up on your latest posts too! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I absolutely loved this SO MUCH. I resonated big time. “Being vulnerable is something we’re not taught to be comfortable with” That is so true. I don’t cry, but the feeling of vulnerability sometimes scares me out of my wits.
    And I related when you said ” Some are quick to dismiss it to find the next distraction”.

    I do. That’s me.
    😶😌

    🤗❤ Lovely piece. https://citygirlsdance.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful words to contemplate… I was wondering how long it’s going to take us to resume life… and then I knew it’s going to take as long for as many people to feel deep within, embrace their own vulnerability and open their hearts to knowing what their next step is❤️ much love to you x Barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

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