Dear Future Child

Dear Future Child, don’t be like your mother. Don’t spend your childhood sprawled on the floors of bookshops, reading those books. Books are dangerous. They will turn you into a thinker, and rarely are thinkers happy people. They are bound to have a rough inner life. Lemony Snicket was right: “All the secrets of the […]

If Emotions Were My Friends

The six basic human emotions are: happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, disgust, fear. Now, if these emotions were my friends, they would be personified as thus— … Happiness would be a guy—effervescent, charming, Golden Boy. Now this boy, I love having around (as does everyone else). But Happiness is not the type who likes to stay […]