5 Reasons Why You Should Never Date a Psych Major

The Trouble with Dating a Psychology Student

Image courtesy of Psychology Comedy

  1. They’re crazy. Seriously. I’ve had many people (mostly my students) ask me whether it’s true that going into psychology will eventually make you crazy yourself. I always tell them it’s absolutely not true. See, the truth is, it’s the other way around—you have to already be pretty twisted before you go into psychology.

  

  1. It’s true what you’ve always suspected—they are secretly diagnosing you. They have this little checklist in their heads enumerating the signs and symptoms of the major psychological disorders—schizophrenia, mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and most especially, personality disorders.

You: “Did you hear that?
Psych major: “Hear what?
You: “Nothing. I just thought I heard something.

Inside the psych major’s head:
Auditory hallucinations, check. Just one more evidence of either delusions, disorganized thinking, abnormal motor behavior, or negative symptoms and I am referring this person for probable schizophrenia.

 

  1. At one point or another, you (or worse, your relationship) will be subjected to a social experiment without your knowledge or consent (after all, most social experiments are rendered invalid if the subject knows they’re being experimented on). They will tell you things for the sake of observing your reactions to them. They will stage an entire event to see whether your reaction confirms the results of a study they just read in The Journal of Social Psychology. They will do things to you just to see if that theory they just learned about truly applies in real life.

 …

  1. They know too much and don’t always use it constructively.

Scenario 1: Their knowledge of ego defense mechanisms and body language can trump what would’ve been a romantic moment.

You: “Honey, flowers for you!

Psych major: “Why, what’s the occasion?

You: “Nothing.”

Psych major: “Did you do something wrong to me and are now using undoing as a defense mechanism to try to lessen your guilt for your bad actions? What did you do this time, eh? Did you cheat on me?!?

You: “No! I just thought—”

Psych major: “Enough! Lies, lies! I know you’re lying, you looked me a little too intensely straight in the eyes there! Ha, typical liar behavior to try to convince me you’re telling the truth by overcompensating on eye contact because you know that I know liars usually avoid eye contact!

 …

Scenario 2: See this piece of research to understand the following scenario.

You: “Hey, let’s watch that new horror movie together!

Psych major: “Are you intentionally trying to subject me to a heightened level of emotional arousal through that horror movie so that I could mistakenly attribute that arousal as something I feel for you and thereby have me think that I am actually attracted to you?

 

  1. You may never know whether you truly like or love them out of your own will, or they had just tricked you into falling in love with them through their psychology “witchery.” C’mon, they know things like partial reinforcement schedules and other creepy behaviorist-manipulation stuff, not to mention all the brain science stuff they read while having their morning coffee.

Image from Psychology Comedy as found on Pinterest

Image courtesy of Psychology Comedy as found on Pinterest

Tsk tsk tsk. Beware the witchery of these people.

You have been warned. ♠

›» ο «‹

P.S. A moment of silence, please, for all the dates I am never going to have for posting this. haha

• About the Author 

Advertisements

62 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why You Should Never Date a Psych Major

    • This is a clear sign of narcissistic personality disorder. But you may also have a chance of developing schizophrenia. You call yourself a writer, being a writer needs imagination and thus you may be more prone to hallucinations, which suggest schizophrenia. Sry bro, you know…

      Like

  1. Not all psych majors does that. Not all behaviors require interpretations. Or those scenarios were premature for a pscyh major to make conclusions. You know! They go beyond that!

    Like

    • I totally get what you mean. 🙂 Don’t worry, this post was just meant to be a humor piece that hinges on exaggeration, not an actual depiction of how all psych majors are. (Hmmm..Now that you’ve mentioned it though, I should probably place a note about that at the bottom of the post..hehe). Thanks! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are a psychologist yourself and the humorous way you looked at the other side of coin, it was just marvelous. Its actually the opposite of your footnote; just look out for all those psych majors for whom you ARE the best possible first date (if not last) they can get. You definitely owe all those psych majors “How to grab the attention of a psych major?”. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • You are welcome MOTI (mistress of the ink). I won’t tell you what does MOTI mean in Urdu or Punjabi languages. A hint: it does not mean pearl. Best of luck with your search 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I was intrigued and looked up what “moti” means in those languages. Haha! I never knew that acronym translates to an actual word somewhere. It may have other meanings, though I like the “pearl” meaning better. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. My cousin and I read this and when I said that I find them interesting, she said that I’m weird or maybe I’m ‘bewitched’ by them as what you’ve stated in the article. I find them cool. I really don’t know why. Help? Hahaha. Kidding. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HAHA great post. I get some of those being a teacher, people apologizing for their grammar or spelling or admit to enjoying reading when they don’t, etc. Funny the misconceptions people have or correct assumptions they make lol.

    Like

  4. I can attest that this is true having watched my son get both a psyche and a criminal justice degree! LOL (But he finally DID get married to someone he thought he could unpack all her extra baggage… He couldn’t.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha, that’s a good observation. Most of those in psychology are intensely curious about the why’s of life, especially the why’s of the struggles therein. Thanks for dropping by and for sharing your thoughts! 🙂

      Like

  5. Reblogged this on My Life on the Chicago # 36 Bus and commented:
    Even tho this is funny as well as something that we all thought, it could still be true.I am reblogging this, hoping that “mistressofink, does not mind and does not evaluate my mind. Follow the link back to her link if you so wish. I wish that I had her skills at writing but at 70, that ship has sailed.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I enjoyed this even tho it is something I always suspected. Humor and truth make good room mates. I hope that you don’t mind that I shared this with my friends. I don’t have many followers but several are deep thinkers and the others are mid-deep thinkers (my attempt at humor.) If you don’t want me to share it, let me know and I will remove it. I really enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. To me, it comes across that the “social science” of psych is trying to put everyone / everything in a box with a neat label on it. It can’t be contributing to the psych’s enjoyment of life (if they’re somewhat normal) to always have the suspicion radar activating thus interfering with being able to just accept someone at face value and enjoy interacting with them without feeling the need to diagnose all interaction – those who do all this diagnosing are actually demonstrating they are the ones with big problems

    Liked by 1 person

    • On the serious side there is sad truth here also. If you look at the record of police officers you may often see heavy drinking, multiple divorces and even family problems because they get to see society at it’s worse everyday and that may sometimes color how all of life looks. They and their families sometimes suffer. It is like PTSD. I am sure that it is not as intense with psychs but it must take some of the magic out of human interactions.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I see your point. Thank you for sharing that insight, Pat! I never really considered how jaded the outlook of police officers (and some psychs) can become because of what they continually get exposed to, but it is indeed possible.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s