The Art of Risking It

I’ve learned that you’d have to spend a great deal of time by yourself—without other people to distract you—in order to get to know who you really are. It is very scary. The journey into the self is just about the most terrifying thing one can go through. How sure are you that you won’t hate yourself after knowing it? How sure are you that you would find yourself likeable, lovable, worthy? Chances are, you’d encounter so many battles. First, it would seem, a battle against a few key (irritating) people. Then it would be against your family, whom you love deeply but at the same time resent. Then it would be against the world—throw them all in, everything and everyone is a culprit. Then, in a moment that both gradually crept in and fell upon you suddenly, you realize that your true battle is against yourself. It is as if time had slowed down and stopped, as you try to wrap your mind around this. How do you win? Is there even a way to win? You begin to discover that the only way to win the battle is to lose it. You have to let a part of you die, that part of you that has always said, You are good for nothing. There is no point being here. Everything is in vain. You have to be willing to succumb to vulnerability; find it in you to have the courage to lose. Because when you do have the courage to lose, no journey can be terrifying enough. You get to have the freedom to go on, through this tunnel of darkness, into the light on the other side. Because though the journey into the self is the most terrifying thing you can ever go through, it is also the most liberating. The only question that remains is: Are you willing to risk falling to find out if you can fly? ♠

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♦ ~ I’m well-acquainted with villains that live in my bed ~ ♦ Halsey • Control 

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