Letting Go

2014 has been a rough year for me, emotionally. Not many people know it, because I have always chosen to be silent about my pain (especially as it is so often self-inflicted). Only one of my closest friends knows the true depth of heartache I have been dealing with, and even so, I have not let out everything.

  …

“Love isn’t soft, like those poets say. Love has teeth that bite and the wounds never close.”—Stephen King

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Everyone’s struggled with love, I think, at one point or another. The struggle is not the same for everyone, but it all revolves around pretty much the same things—finding and losing love, trying and failing, breaking and mending, hoping and despairing. It occurs to me now that maybe I’ve held on to hope for far too long, about the wrong things. Now it finally feels time to let go of that hope, for good. I am letting go of this person I’ve loved for the longest time (and none of my friends know his name, soooo), and of another I felt closer to and understood me more than anyone else, whom I also probably loved but threw away all chances of being with. Both are no longer in my life, and today I am letting go of all hope that any of them ever will be again. I can pick up new things only after I’ve put down what I have in my hands.

 …

I understand I should’ve done this earlier than today. But maybe healing has its own pace, and maybe it was impossible for me to truly let go earlier than today, no matter how hard I tried. It’s been a long way getting to this place, but I’m glad I’ve finally arrived.

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2015 will be a better year. 🙂

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• ♥ •

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“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things that are not meant for you.” — unknown

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11 thoughts on “Letting Go

  1. Strong choice.

    “Choose well. Your choice is brief, and yet endless.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    I love this quote because what it says is that your choice will affect your life and the lives of others in ways untold. And choosing who to love and who to commit to in life, is one of those big choices which goes on, grows tentacles and can affect others connected to you in very deep ways. Love, is not, just …love.

    • That is so true. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve always been hesitant in love; I’ve been so afraid of making the wrong choice because I know the consequences all too well. It will affect so many things, and yes, in endless ways.

      Thank you for the lovely quote, and for the thoughtful comment. 🙂

  2. Indeed, I think healing and learning have their own pace. Sometimes, in order to fully grasp what we need to know….we need time and occasionally pain. It is not the most fun way to learn, but it is the way we learn the most profound things in life I think.

    Keep your own pace, because you’ll figure things out in the right way. I hope the new year brings you everything you need.

    Happy holidays.

    • Thank you. I too believe that time and pain are essential to learning the most important lessons in life. I think those lessons are among what they call the “pearls of great price.” Only after we’ve paid the price do we truly earn them. But once they are with us, they will help us in indefinite ways. I wish you all the best for the year ahead as well, and happy holidays! 🙂

  3. Haay. I didn’t have a lovely love-filled year either… Because it feels though much was received and given this year, I have to pay twice as much. Let’s commiserate… Or, wait, okay ka na pala. Teach me your ways. Char 😉

    • Hi Yvonne! So nice having you visit here. :)) Hmm, guess we just need to allow time for healing, and for acceptance to finally feel natural to us. I’ve observed that often “the only way around is through.” Be patient with yourself. Though it doesn’t always seem and feel like it, you’ll get there. 🙂

  4. Cheers to New Beginnings in the New Year! You WILL laugh again! When I lost the hope of the love between myself and that boy, I feared I never feel the joy of laughter again. One sleepless night, I fell into a despair that I thought I had finally gotten over. Tears that I cried where of the pain from the depth of my soul. I begged God for love, and He gave me laughter. Laughter heals the soul. You WILL love again and You WILL most definitely be loved.
    Love&Light on your journey!

    • Wow, thank you for sharing that. It’s a powerful reminder of the new hope that healing brings (or the healing that hope brings? hehe). Cheers to the new year ahead, and thanks for your words of comfort and encouragement! 🙂

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